leerings:

averagefairy:

who needs asmr when I can lay here in the dark listening to my dog furiously licking his own ass at what seems like an impossibly high volume

cathugging:

Thank you for agreeing to take the Pre-Employment Assessment Test. Please answer all questions as truthfully as you can.

mpregcraig:

QUESTION 1: Your wife, the mother of your children, is drowning. You have a life preserver. However, a customer requires your assistance. What do you do?

QUESTION 2: A man has been caught stealing from the company and he is currently awaiting execution. You are the executioner. Do you pull the trigger?

QUESTION 3: Which sentence best describes yourself?

- I have clinical depression.

- I’m ready to be productive!

QUESTION 4: Which sentence best describes yourself?

- I try to do things to the best of ability.

- I am willing to bleed for you.

QUESTION 5: Are you afraid to die?

aestheticsofartt:

5oil:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BqwyQOIn3l3/

homoidiotic:

captainchancey:

quirkybrittany:

i want to study at a British university

i will spell color as colour and use degrees celcius. i would watch Sherlock on BBC all night while drinking a cuppa tea with my flatmates. i’ll have fish and chips every day that’s worth 5 quid. i would go to gaff parties every night. i am also more likely to meet chavs, One Direction, Ed Sheeran and the Queen.

i wish i was british :(

i want to study at a Soviet university

i will spell color as цвет and use degrees Communist. i would watch Семнадцать мгновений весны on Программа Один all night while drinking vodka with with my comrades. i’ll have borscht and potatoes every day that’s worth 5 rubles. I would go to Soviet rallies every night. i am also more likely to meet Cossacks, Kino, Bulat Okudzhava and Josef Stalin.

i wish i was soviet :(